So I’ve been down this road for a few years (out of curiosity) and I decided it’s just not for me. Especially at this time. I still have a life of work, friends, family, school and everything. It’s not an addiction or an abusive problem. It’s just one of the many ways of bettering myself for all benefits.
Note: I’d only do this socially, I’m not one to have a beer with dinner.
There has always been a serious and deadly history attached to Aboriginals substance abuse/alcoholism, thus stereotypes about how we live has stemmed from that.
I’ve had my personal ‘fun’ with drinking at times, but ultimately it’s not for me. It’s become more obvious now that I have joined a program that helps Aboriginal’s join the Canadian police force, whether it’d be a reservation cop, an RCMP or city police. It’s designed solely to get our foot in the door and develop a working relationship with our brothers and sisters on both the reserves and the inner cities.
The people I work/study with bring up drinking more then anyone I’ve hung out with and I could already see it causing problems in the classroom. Plus we are the only Aboriginal program at the college, so we are also representatives for the program. I don’t want us backing the stereotype that we all like to drink all the time. And the only way to move forward is to change ourselves and inspire others to do the same. We are all in this program for a reason, a good reason. We want to be better people. We want to break these stereotypes. We want to tear down the walls we’ve put against the police community. We want to help our communities, our families. And we want to inspire.
I’m at the gym 5 to 6 days a week. I love breaking a good sweat, I love the feeling, and I love learning how my body works and developing a healthy lifestyle. I always try my best with nutrition and the workouts. But when the weekend rolls around I will have a few drinks and feel like I’ve ruined everything I’ve worked so hard for all week. So I get in that cycle, for months. I started looking at the weekend as a reward for what I did for the week, but I decided I don’t want to feel like shit on a sunday and start fresh on a monday. I want to start & end fresh.
It costs money to put yourself in a hole. I’d rather spend it on a sober experience, creativity, supplements, saving, travelling (more), and books. I see the amount of money that gets put into a weekend you barely remember, it’s not worth the headache.
I realize I’m gonna lose a few friends from this and that’s okay. Not everyone will be running the same direction as me. It also started becoming a crutch to be sociable, I don’t like that. If I really want to make friends that stand on the same moral ground as me, I’ll have to stand on my own two feet and talk to them.
I can put more value into my time when I’m not drinking. I can focus on dealing with problems rather then finding an excuse not to deal with them. I can focus on being the best version I imagine of myself. I have goals and I’d rather not stare through the fence at them.
I’d rather not tell the story of how I met your mother at the bar one crazy night and how we awkwardly saw each other sober the next day. It doesn’t sound pretty. I want to meet a girl in better circumstances and I keep picturing it that way. Whether it’d be in a classroom, the gym, a store, a concert, traveling, through a friend of a friend. Not a sketchy house party or some sleazy bar. Something that starts slow and gradually builds into something amazing (cheesy, but true).
If I don’t admit this publicly I’ll have a hard time following through with it.